RESTRICTIONS,TOO MUCH OR TOO LITTLE?

One of the greatest cause of strife between parents and their teenagers is freedom. The parents think perhaps they are offering too much freedom and the children think it is too little.

For a single parent like the one we are going to discuss today, freedom is a big deal. They dread offering too much freedom which they suspect will negatively affect the way their teenagers turn out.

Patrick is a single father. A very loving man of forty. He has two children,a boy and a girl. He separated from his wife on the grounds on infidelty. His wife cheated and although he loved his children so much,he vowed to be stern in term of his daughter's discipline. He was a devote Catholic and the shame of having an adulterous wife was enough,he could not and would not bear another scandal in one life time.

He decided to take a route that very few had taken. It might sound implausible and impossible but this is real. He did it, he started putting his plans into actions as his daughter grew. He focused so much on his business and built it in such a way that he could run it from afar with a good assistant. Immediately his daughter turned eight he stopped going to his shop on weekdays. His daughter was in elementary school at this time. He would get her and her brother dressed for school in the morning and take them to school and sit somewhere in the compound. He would stay and watch till they closed from school and take them back home. He was a bit lenient with his son but under no circumstance would he let his daughter leave home unchaperoned by him. Never,and she could only leave home when she was going to school or church. She had no friends,and didn't visit relatives. If relatives desired to see her they should come visit with her in his house. This went on for years.

The small town observed,he listened to no one's advice, not neighbors, church members, friends,his family, and to his ex wife's family he said they have absolutely no moral right to suggest how he would raise his daughter,the results from the way they raised their own daughter was shameful. His children grew and soon they got into secondary school, Patrick continued chaperoning his daughter the exact same way he had always done with the same zeal.

Time for baptism came and they resumed the baptism class, brother and sister, Patrick's children. He took both to church every week and waited till they were done and took them back home for the whole first month. In the second month,the father in charge of the small parish told him that the church was safe,he didn't have to watch them in church,at first Patrick refused,the father said nothing more,in time though, Patrick adhered, he would drop them off at church and thirty minutes before they closed he would be at the door waiting. So punctual was Patrick,he was never late even for one day and his beautiful daughter,now grown, but so very quiet, he would always meet sitting at the same spot and in the same exact location he had left her.

All was good and fine.  The town like they always do everywhere on earth, watched, quietly. They kept observing, they would know how this story would end,the occupants of this town that would witness the end would tell their children this story and those children would tell theirs. Some occupants of this town died and others had children and for Patrick and his family all was fine, same routine and same results. Then the rumors started,like a fire lit on wet woods,the smoke spread quickly. At first people discussed it quietly,in hushed tones. Patrick's daughter was pregnant. A family meeting was held. She was asked who was responsible and in the presence of the extended family she pointed to her father. This news again got out,and this was not discussed or relayed quietly. You could hear women shouting it out to their neighbors in the market,they would spit and curse at Patrick in his absence and in his presence,drunks at the public bars would laugh with scorn and declare that Patrick was a selfish man, he wanted his daughter for only himself, that is why he didn't allow her out so other men won't share with him.

It was impossible to see Patrick and his family at daytime, he rapidly had grey hair in weeks,his eyes were bloodshot. He spent most of his time in the church,half the time crying at the pew,the other half in meeting with the catholic father He insistently denied it,he was not responsible for the pregnancy,he could not possibly go canal with his daughter. He prayed endlessly. After that first day the daughter said nothing more. Her patnernal grandmother moved in and took care of her and her brother,her belly grew and Patrick shrinked and looked more suken in each day than the last,no one had any pity for him,not even his mother,they considered him a hardened liar. In a little over eight months Patrick's daughter had the baby. 

In the hospital people visited and among them was young man. He admitted he was the biological father of the baby. Patrick's daughter said it was true and she only wanted to punish her father for turning her to a prisoner. She and her baby's father met at the baptism classes and somehow snuck out with the assistance of her brother.

Patrick died a few months after.
Read here : HABITS